Archive for May, 2009

ETA

May 30, 2009

-it’s wild i never knew that stood for estimated time of arrival until i was 19.

& i’m back in willamsburg, my cousin is staying with me this time though. this summer is gonna be funny for sure.

& gotta get up and trade cars with dad in the morning all of my luggage and groceries wouldn’t fit in my tiny lil acura.

& also i should probably drop off my rent check tommorrow seeing as how it’s due on the first.

& i wish i could get to sleep at a decent hour every once in a while. [preferably soon since i have effing art at 8:50 am mon-fri starting in two days, yay life]

& tonight K [my cousin] got my living room dvd surround sound to work my life just got amps better ūüôā and yes i cranked that shit all the way up to eleven [all my neighbors hate me]

& what did i watch you ask? twilight. yep that silly a$$ vampire movie but you know what? it wasn’t silly it was bomb [special effects out this world] AND my momma got it for my bday when i didn’t even ask for it so ha.

& then i half rewatched hitman mostly to hear the gunshots in dolby digital. sicknasty.

& there was one of those weird wall spiders crawling on my bed when i came in ūüė¶ i killed it all by myself too asher roth style. {reference for those who think slowly}

&12:56 i’m actually kinda sleepy, surprise.

& this one time during the 2 weeks i spent in halifax, where the internet moves at the speed of lent accumulating on carpet over time, i played mahjong titans so much that i started dreaming in mahjong tiles. it was tight.

& red hair = i was excited because even though i’m black i always wanted to pretend i was the little mermaid sometimes. yay.

& 12:58? yep i am definitely sleepy.

…weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning + to a well organized-mind, death is but the next great adventure.

May 19, 2009

…weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning + to a well organized-mind, death is but the next great adventure.
Psalm 30 Verse 5 + J.K. Rowling,
this makes me happy.

am i huge twamp [#3] for being more than uberly excited for this movie?! :)

May 19, 2009

I’ll Be In The Sky…

May 19, 2009

I’ll Be In The Sky…
 ^click me! click me!^

til death do us part.

May 16, 2009

funny phrase.
you don’t think too much about until you realize the importance and meaning of it. sure it’s typical to weddings but i apply it to all relations. there were two others before this one each hitting home a little differently. the first was the most tragic, being it was my first meeting with dear old mr. death and he made certain a few months later he was not a shy new friend. but this. i do not have any specific words for it. not even one. i guess i am still in disbelief he visited again. he steals i don’t really like him all that much. he got real close this time tho. you know you never really quite understand how it feels when someone talks about losing a family member to this guy. you can’t quite sympathize or feel how truly unspeakably painful it is when your family is as close as mine. titles such as aunt or uncle or cousin just don’t do any justice. with my family it’s so much more than just family, there isn’t a word for it. and when someone slips away, out of line, stolen. the equilibrium is all ‘fucked up’ for lack of better words [sorry mom]. all those death cliches of ‘you will be truly missed’ just isn’t enough this time there¬†isn’t anything i could possibly think of that expresses how i really truly feel at this very moment. if there was a word for¬†how someone feels the¬†EXACT moment the words¬†enter into their ear¬†flow to the brain and seep into it that moment where everything is uncontrollable, that moment of sheer terror and shock. i would sure like to know what it is, i’ve theasaurused and dictionaried every possible word i could¬†think of and there isn’t one. i’m hurting now but i know that these next few days are going to be¬†hell.¬†i really hate this entire process more than anything. all i can think of right now is how everything falls apart over time. how perfect everything was when i was six when my biggest fear was the dark [which happened to stay with me] and the most pain i felt was the terror i’d have if everyone else in the house had fallen asleep before i had and all the lights were out. everyone was happy and together and i had yet to meet this man. and so sorry at seventeen i did. he’s all a part of life though i guess and someday he’ll come to take me to where he’s taken the others. time heals wounds externally and internally. pray for me.

i love you & i miss you aunt b, but you already know that.

Ancestry Smancestry

May 6, 2009

Ancestry Smancestry

wow, so this woman is somewhat of a hero and pretty popular in the cancer research area. the creepy CREEPY really EFFING CREEPY thing is we are DIRECTLY related. she’s from my exact home town [yea Halifax..more so small town Clover <3] and is in my direct line of family on my dad’s side. this is scary cool. i wonder why no one was ever compensated or recognized if these HeLa cells are so great? something to ponder i guess…

Anyway click the Title [Ancestry Smancestry] to read the Wikipedia entry. yep Lacks Family we made wiki. woohoo.

this is your brain on drugs.

May 3, 2009

school is your brain on drugs.
society is your brain on drugs.
as we come to an end with another hour, another day, another week, another month of school it’s a bittersweet feeling.

i’m not quite sure how i feel about that though. i’m a little bit sad and¬†extremely happy at the same time. i wonder if i’ll finally have peace of mind?

the beginning of the end and the end of the beginning.
i hope¬†we’re ready.

goodluck.